| Financial Autonomy pt 2. |
[Nov. 29th, 2009|06:44 pm] |
I can finally say I work two jobs and go to school full time. I HAVE GAINED AUTONOMY.. mostly financial autonomy but that's still pretty sick.
I've been wanting this for a while so.. here we go. |
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| Crepe Maker |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|08:00 pm] |
I LOVE my to be job. In case I haven't mentioned it, I got hired at the crepe restaurant!! I only trained for two days so far and it's so much fun. I'm still being shown the ropes but I'm really loving the preparation and cooking of different crepes. I feel like I can cook. lol. This is how we make them(only watch the first 20 seconds): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsZL3XA5NAU
My manager is so so so so lax. He's truly the opposite of all the past managers I've ever dealt with. We talk and share our lives. He talks to me purely on a human level instead of as a worker.
This is so much better than when I used to Bartend. I hated that shit so much. Drunk customers are so obnoxious and crazy.. and the hours are too long.
This job makes me feel like I'm reviving the artsy side of me. Infact, almost all of the workers there are lefty's including myself. Odd, huh?
The two guys I work with are culinary chefs so I pick up a lot from them. I feel like I'm in culinary school. I love it.
Ok, enough about that.
I gotta study.
I gotta do laundry and pack. I'll be in North Carolina Tuesday!
But I must study first. study, study, study. |
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| Lindemans and Crepes |
[Nov. 16th, 2009|12:25 am] |
Life has been good.
I'm so glad the semester is nearly over.
It's so insane how fast it went.
I'm so proud of myself in terms of time management skills. I get all my shit done a week prior and then have the rest of the week to study or hang out. If this were a few years back I probably would've got too overwhelmed with the amount of assignments and procrastinated everything til the 11th hour. I also find that when I get lonely or bored I'll immediately do something productive instead of just lazing around wallowing in it. Improvement FTW
Tracey's ( birthday )was over the week. I had a good time speaking to people I hadn't seen in a while. I love parties.
Me and Omar both applied to this crepe place. We're both hoping to get the job /Crosses fingers.
I also applied to yet again another supermarket. I think I've applied to at least 6 different supermarkets and most of them never got back to me.. I don't understand why.
I've been drinking the best beer lately. I found a beer distributor near my house and now enjoy skipping on over to try different burrs. Lindeman's Framboise is the fuckin best. Me, Omar, and Tony bought two bottles, one raspberry, another blueberry and a 6 pack of UFO's raspberry beer. Then we made ( crepes ) for practice.. and also because they are the best dessert on earth!!!
We all took turns making our own crepes and I ended up eating four. I'm so fat. One with apples and cinnamon, another with banana and chocolate syrup, and two cheddar cheese crepes.
Yep, hence why I rode my bike for a couple miles today. |
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| Mexico |
[Nov. 9th, 2009|09:13 pm] |
Mexico was one of the best trips I ever went on. I really had the best time ever.
( I swam with dolphins )
( I swam,drove,rafted through a cave and lurked lurked lurked. )
( I vegged out on a beach )
( I zip-lined. )
It was a really physically active trip which really made it.
I'm so desperate to travel again. There's good news too.. my sister became permanent at Jet Blue so now I can travel for free. What! what! Now I get to see the world like I want to... this gives me more incentive to get a job. Things are looking up. lol.
Coming back to the U.S. was like waking up after a really long, wonderful slumber... reality just slowly materializes again and you're like 'Ah fuck I have school tomorrow.. this sucks.' lol. I was just telling my friend how I wish I could travel every month so I can feel more refreshed, especially in the winter and what do ya know.
All I can say is I'm really lucky thanks to my sister.
Back to reality:
Yesterday I played Risk. Best game of risk ever. It was like playing a game of chess with 6 other people.. we all formed alliances and back-stabbed and rigorously strategized. We took it so seriously that we were all seriously rolling on the floor laughing because of how intense it'd get.
The following day was even worse...we played Risk from midnight to 8 in the the morning. Eventually my friend's mom woke up to go off to work lol. Another funny thing is we all saw The Fourth Kind and were scared afterward. I think I was the most scared and no one wanted to go home for fear of sleeping alone and getting abducted lol.
Now I'm sitting here drinking Purple Haze. A "raspberry wheat brew." I tried pumpkin ale for the first time today too but it was too spicy for me. School tomorrow. Goodnight. |
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| October |
[Oct. 23rd, 2009|08:40 pm] |
I feel really happy right now. I've finally acclimated to the school semester and I'm a lot more motivated and happier to do my homework and study for tests. I want to succeed, I want to succeed. I want to succeed!
I've been playing a lot of sports when the weather's right and when I'm not extremely sore from the last game. I learned a different way of playing handball, the chinese style, it's mellower but it's easier for me because it doesn't require much strength. lol. I've been playing horse [basketball] and occasionally tennis but I've gotten so rusty at it!!
October has been nice. Every weekend I've been going to this amusement park to try each individual Haunted house attraction. I've been trying to do halloweeny things here in NY since I'll be in MEXICO on Halloween!!!! I'll be visiting Mayan ruins and swimming with dolphins and of course soaking up the sun. I'm so excited. I haven't been out of the country in a while. Also, this weekend I'll be going to New Jersey for fright fest at six flags. AH AH AH!
A change of subject. Ever since I've been single, everyone's been coupling up! lol. I'm actually really happy for everyone. It's just tickles how the tables have turn. But that's just how life is. When I was in a relationship, everyone I knew was single. Now I've been single for almost a year. Can you believe it? I feel I'm ready for a relationship now and I'm honestly excited to meet that next new person. I keep thinking 'I'm young, I'm young, I'm young- -I can't wait' Sometimes I think it's too late... which is absolutely bizarre considering I'm only 21. I guess I'm just anxious because I truly love the strong bond that exists in a relationship. I really do cherish that. But I'm also anxious to see what the future has in store for me.
I apologize for jumping from topic to topic.
Today in the car coming back from dinner, my mom brought up how if her and my dad went to the restaurant alone they probably would've been seated near the bar in one of the two-seater booths. I said 'MOM, DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME! WHAT ABOUT ME?' and my dad responded 'Soon you'll forget about US, Lynn'
That made me really sad. I don't want to be one of those selfish people who moves on with their life and forgets about the people who truly matter. It reminded me of a quote I once read about people choosing what's convenient over what's moral. I don't want to be in a situation where I'm in the car with my husband and kids and we decide to pass on visiting my parents to go home instead of going the extra mile to see them.
I made a vow to never fore sake my parents. I just don't have the heart for it anyway.. I'm truly a loyal friend, lover and family member. I pride myself in that because I know some people ..just..aren't. |
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| Anime, School, Start life. |
[Sep. 27th, 2009|09:04 pm] |
I went to an anime convention!! I never been before. It was pretty nerdy as to be expected lol. A lot of youngsters were there but the costumes were sick. I wish I dressed up as pikachu but I went on whim so I didn't have time to plan anything.
I have no motivation for school. I still study and do the work but I'm so jaded and truly have to force myself. I just want to play poker or read my favorite books all day. The education system is so disappointing...I don't feel engaged at all and rather just sit home and read the textbook than go to class and feel bored. Some classes definitely require human interaction, otherwise it's just memorization..and that shouldn't require attendance. UGH!
I feel pretty happy in other aspects of my life.. I just want to get my degree and start my life already as an INDEPENDENT WOMAN. START. LIFE. /CLICK. |
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| First the bad news, then the really really good news. |
[Sep. 14th, 2009|09:28 pm] |
I periodically get dispirited about Santino. I often feel livid then depressed then I go back to acceptance. I feel like I lost a friend.. because things just wont be the same anymore and that's just an impossible likelihood in my head right now. How do I get over this?
Crying helps. The withdrawal can be really overwhelming sometimes and crying stablizes my mood. Then I actually feel better than ever. Thank you biology.
I'm still more hopeful than ever that I'll survive this, afterall.. this is just a phase I'm going through. It just hurts right now but it wont last forever..
On the bright side, this give me a chance to learn independence.. and speaking of which, I think I'll be working part-time at an organic supermarket soon. I've been dying to work at an organic establishment so Horrah!!!
and hey MORE great news.. I'm going to Mexico in October for Los Dias de Los Muertos! Aka Mexico's version of Halloween. I'm so so excited. I absolutely need a vacation to shake off these poo-poo feelings. I also need incentive to use my Spanish. I'm taking level two Spanish this semester and will keep continue taking Spanish classes until I learn dammit!
This semester isn't so bad. I like all of my teachers and my classes. I just don't like my religion class. It's hard to talk and hear about Christianity when you don't really care for or believe in it. Oh well. It's a requirement. lol. |
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| Texas Hold'em |
[Sep. 10th, 2009|01:04 am] |
Argh. I've become obsessed with on-line Poker, it's all I've been doing lately. I had 600k and then got really angry when I lost 200k so I just kept going ALL IN until I had nothing. Even when I knew I didn't have a good hand. FUCK POKER!!!
In other news.. I might be going to Mexico soon. It really depends.
FUCK POKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I refuse to play ever again. |
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| Philly |
[Sep. 8th, 2009|01:08 pm] |
I had a lot of fun yesterday. I went to Philly, Penn with a buncha friends and while our main focus was Philly Cheese Steaks, we ended up at this really nice art museum instead and even ran up the same steps that Sylvester Stallone ran up in Rocky. lol. There's a cute video of it too which I may post if I can get my hands on it.
( Scissors CUT )
I start school tomorrow! I'm sorta excited.. sorta sad about it. I feel like it's going to take me forever to get a degree. I'm also not looking forward to all the studying and paper-writing. Wah. At least I'll be busy. |
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| I'll let it be known to the world that I love: |
[Aug. 26th, 2009|04:32 pm] |
Filet mignon<3
and Pina coladas<3
My two favorites this month.
Also, check out my dessert. It was chocolate moose with two cookies and some yummy fruit. I love Portuguese food.
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| Drinking. I wrote this a while back. It still rings true for me. |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|06:14 pm] |
I'm at a going-away party for a friend of mine, reveling in the usual mingling and drinking. I'm prone to approach others, as I've always had the strong innate desire to meet and get to know new people. I like to converse.
Although, at this party and maybe you can relate, I found a social circle that just doesn't really leave the confines of their circle... which seemingly gets more inclusive and lamer by the hour. I can't imagine how they even managed to leave their town... or better yet their own houses.
I ask one of the louder possibly drunker ones 'What are your hobbies?' ''Drinking Henies'' as he points to the aluminum can, posing with his beer on an open palm as if its a silver platter containing gold while his other hand is pointing a single finger to his prize.
I chuckle a little, half-admiring the good-humor.. but what else?
''That's it."
I probe a little bit more. Nah, come on, what are you into ?
''Drinking Heinies, man...wheres YOUR beer ?''
"I already had one"
"So drink some more!!
''I'm good''
"Good!?'' he shrieks. ''but you're at a party.. you should be getting TANKED"
"Why?"
"Cause you're at a party."
Oh. This conversation clearly isn't going anywhere. Now, was this some sort of cheesy machismo act or does he really think that drinking is truly all that important and amazing? And is that really the sole reason to go to a party? to drink, not to catch up with friends and fraternize?
And one last question.
Has the act of keeping a perpetual BUZZ and staying on top of your shit a lost art, as well as the phrase 'keeping things in moderation."
I find it painstakingly frightening that people of my age group, between the ages of 21-30 are still glorifying alcohol like it's the first coming. On top of that, they're the first to admit that they've drove home drunk, puked their brains out, drunk-texted, didn't remember a thing from last night, made out with strangers etc. etc.
Sounds like a bunch of lusty 13 year olds snuck out at midnight and had a night out on the town. I mean, only hormonal out of control children could behave in such a sophomoric way, right?
Personally, I dont use alcohol as an excuse to do foolish things I wouldnt otherwise do sober. It seems like a lot of the youth in our society are extremely repressed and/or have deep rooted emotional problems that only come out when they are inebriated. Therefore, when I hear about someones strong love for alcohol, I tend to kind of.. run in the opposite direction. Even if you don't really have a psychological problem. It's extremely conformist and rather simple-minded to find alcohol the end all be all great world wonder. I like alcohol too.. but I mean I also like honey mustard.. I refuse to advertise this or convince others they HAVE to indulge and love it too. It's confusing and weird.
But anyway, drinking isn't a hobby.. and if you really think so, then you must have never tested your boundaries or ventured any other recreational outlets in your life. Really.. there's fun activities out there in the world, y'know outside of your local bar. I can name plenty..
Besides, why get so wasted that you can't even function? You end up bedridden and shitting wastes out of your ass and mouth the next day. The art of moderation I talked about earlier is knowing one's limits and maintaining a perpetual buzz. That is truly knowing how to drink. Pounding beer after beer is not. You still get to socialize, enjoy the party and go home without illness.. win, win and win. Keeping things in moderation.. just a little advice from yours truly but really it's just common knowledge. Sorry if this sounds arrogant but I just personally believe it is a wiser decision.
For the record, I'm not against drinking, just shitty perhaps elitist attitudes towards people who don't excessively and foolishly drink. I'm not against drinking, just people who think it's an excuse to run wild and act slutty or outrageously idiotic. I'm not against drinking, just people who needlessly promote their favorite alcoholic beverage. Why? |
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| Two complaints. Two predicaments. |
[Aug. 22nd, 2009|05:05 am] |
I truly hate being the one to complain [especially since everything has been so good lately that I haven't had time to update much] but I must vent these two predicaments.
First, I found out that two of my friends both agreed that I was a bad driver, which I find humorous because one of them got a speeding ticket two days ago. While the other one, just a couple weeks back, almost got a DWI but the cop lowered it to a lesser offense instead. Funny, huh?
I've only been involved in one minor accident where I skidded into a divider during a rainstorm. Annnnd the only time I ever received a ticket was for making a U-turn where I shouldn't have. I always drive the speed limit and I have never been in a serious car accident. I feel like the only reason they're making such an outrageous statement like that is because they believe all girl drivers are bad. Stop generalizing, god dammit /irritated
My other complaint is about this guy who has been out of state for a while and has come back to visit for a month. He's cool and I always kept in touch with him since he left. Now that he's back he always asks me to chill and texts me a lot. I'm fine with chilling because he's already friends with my circle. The thing is, he has a girlfriend and I think he's covertly testing the waters with me to see if I'll follow through. I'm completely horrified by this -- I am 100% not okay with infidelity or disrespecting anyone's girlfriend. It's fucked up. I could be wrong but I just have a strong inkling. I wish I could tell his girlfriend but I wouldn't want to get involved in drama like that.
/sadness and anger |
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| RIP BARRY |
[Aug. 9th, 2009|09:39 pm] |
I found Barry in September 07. He was running around Stonybrook and I just scooped him up and kept him. I can't believe he died tonight.
My dad accidentally left the basement door open and Barry fell to his death. :(
My Barry sleeping on his head.
In his ball.
In his retro colored home in his bedroom.
Bye Barry. I'll miss you. :( |
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| Variety is the spice of life. |
[Aug. 2nd, 2009|03:16 am] |
I MUST BE CRAZY but I seriously had a fuckin' blast today.
You know how I said I joined a dating website.. well I decided to join another one called 'plentyoffish.'
I only joined it maybe a week ago. So, some guy asked me if I had gone to any shows lately, I told him I really haven't but that I'd love to see Tool if it wasn't so fuckin' expensive at the APW festival. [I swear to god I wasn't saying this with an ulterior motive, especially since it was only 3 days before the actual concert.]
He said he wanted to go too and that if I want to go with him he had a ticket with my name on it. THE TICKETS ARE $100 A POP!
He's 28 years old.. which I found a little sketchy 'cause that's 7 years older than me. But Tool is my all time favorite band.. You know I went!
He was actually really nice and down to earth and I had a sick time. I feel so grateful. Btw, I never meet people off the internet.. I probably won't be doing it again. lol. Janiz lent me her mace just in case but I didn't even need to use it. This was definitely a highlight of my summer.
( I love spontaneity ) |
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| The art of apologizing. |
[Jul. 24th, 2009|06:11 pm] |
The act of apologizing is a dying art replaced by accusation and over-rationalization.
Once a friend was play-fighting with me by punching the air around me while I was diligently trying to finish some paper work. I was paying no mind to my friend's silly antics until he actually make contact with my face to which I instantly looked in his direction with wide eyes and mouth agape. I was in sheer astonishment, but what was more astonishing was the first thing that came out of his mouth. "YOU WALKED INTO IT!"
As funny as it sounds that's what a LOT of people do on a much grander scale:
Shift the blame onto the victim in order to avoid all feeling of guilt.
It's like when a friend doesn't show up to your dance recital who then later, after being questioned where she was, replies "Well, YOU never reminded me. How was I suppose to know?"
Or a person who gets into a car accident and immediately demands the other person pay for their damages. Their rendition: "YOU were in my way. YOU should have seen me going around you!"
Perhaps you just forgot about the dance recital.
Perhaps you were driving way over the speed limit on a side road.
A simple SORRY can make all the difference, it shows that you're an adult and can take responsibility for your own actions. It's just courtesy.
On an even grander scale, those excuses would never hold up in a court of law. A justification of murder with the reasoning 'Well, they could have ran away' is not going to fly with anyone. That's silly and inconsiderate.. and that's just an understatement.
While bearing false accusations against someone can be really sophomoric I wanted to just talk solely about over-rationalization. I think logicality is a wonderful trait to have yet using logic to justify every means of irresponsible and lazy behavior is 'logically illogical' and just plain selfish. It has now evolved into a fatal flaw. You can trick yourself into making sense of bad behavior but it still doesn't make it right.
"He was antagonizing me first, he looked at me the wrong way so I had to defend myself"
Keeping up this logically illogical mentality begets self handicapping behavior. The more excuses you can make for not doing something new, the little you actually grow and learn from different experiences. Especially when it's out of a person's own personal fear or stubbornness.
"I don't want to go to the party because I already know who's going so I wont like it anyway"
"I don't want to try Indian food because I already know I don't like spicy food'
"I don't want to watch the movie because I don't like that one actor''
Just one little part of a whole won't determine the overall outcome of a situation.
You can go to the party and still enjoy yourself around people you DO like and know.
You might hate spicy food but that just means you can order a different dish or ask for mild. It's as simple as that.
You can still enjoy the movie, many actors and actresses try to take up different parts so they aren't filling the same boring or annoying archetypes.
I suppose I brought up this subject because I see it happen all the time amongst friends and family and I've had it happen to me on a number of occasions too. It's very emotionally wearing dealing with the blame-game where the accusatory finger is directed at me or dealing with the plowed-over excuses that are hiding deep down buried feelings.
I just simply consider myself a very open-minded and sympathetic individual. Before I jump to conclusions I try to see how something could be my fault. I also refuse to limit myself to new opportunities over one single attribute, I mean, for all you know that party you refused to go to could have been amazing and you might have met some new cool people or seen old friends you that you missed. You would never know if you didn't go. |
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| My own worst enemy, My own best friend. |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|11:24 am] |
Have you ever heard of being your own worst enemy? Well the opposite is true too, you can also be your own best friend. I declared my independence yesterday by wandering off to the beach alone. I'm trying to fit in more alone time outside my home. I believe it will give me resplendent confidence to try new things alone too. I simply don't want to limit myself from doing anything just because I don't have company to do it with.. I want to enjoy my own company. It was nice and the words 'wonderful solitude' came to mind. 'I enjoy this peacefulness right now.' I must say that this alone time also prompted me to be more aware of my surroundings instead of lazing along with friends who know where we're going so that I don't have to. It makes me less introspective and more extrospective which in my case is a good thing. I want to take in all that is around me.
I was also reading a lot of people's entries about moving and traveling. I only live 10 minutes from the beach.. maybe one day I'll move where there aren't any beaches available and then I'll miss it. You have to appreciate what you have now while it's there because it might not be accessible forever.
Anyway. Yesterday was so much fun. After the beach Omar and I got smoothies at coldstone. I fuckin' love SMOOTHIES!!! I got a 'Berry Lemony' which has strawberries, raspberries, and lemon juice. So good. Afterward, we went to Dave and Buster's and it was half off so I honestly think we played every single game there. We each won two stuffed animals from those claw game things.
Then I got home and got kidnapped by Janiz-y, Mark, Dan, and Melissa and was carried off to the treacherous island of Manhattan. We got there pretty late so we kind of just.. bothered pedestrians on the street cause not a lot was open, lol. At one point we were all manically laughing, all 5 of us, in times square and union square just to get a rise out of the people on the street. It was really funny and we kept fogging up the rear view mirror. hahah. Another time we were screaming out the "Our Father" who can't get enough of THAT! Good STUFF!
( One picture, that's all ya get. ) |
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| A closed mind is like a closed book; just a block of wood |
[Jul. 23rd, 2009|03:20 am] |
You can call it sensitivity but I just call it being passionate.
You can call it fantasizing but I just call it being a visionary.
You can call it stargazing but I just call it being a true believer in romance.
You can call me an optimist but I just have hope.
They mislabel and misunderstand others because they haven't had enough sentimental experience to have gone through similar situations and feelings to truly recognize another person's heart felt emotions. This may sound divert but it's like when people look down on others for believing in conspiracy theories as if it's some kind of esoteric and outrageous conviction like witch craft. Although, I've really only seen the media portray it that way. They sure do hold a lot of water for just being a silly belief. The same way you'd realize how much a person truly feels a certain way for the right reason.
I believe it just helps a little bit to first understand where a person is coming from before negatively judging them for thinking the way they do. It helps to open your mind. |
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